Immunity

My Pope

2006-11-01T22:17:00.000-08:00

Here is one of the major reasons that I purchased the van. I hope to get back to the church that I belonged to for many years. The church had a shitty leader but the stain glass was amazing! This is Mt. Matier and it is a simple ski mountaineering sojourn. We will see.

Van

2006-10-30T11:25:00.000-08:00

Roshi and I purchased a new (to us) van a couple of weeks ago. I never thought that a vehicle could make us/me so happy but it does. It is semi camperized and we have already been camping in the Squamish area with the van. It runs amazing but does not like to get moving fast when it is cold. Neither do I. I hope to have stories to report on our travels and experience with the van. I also hope to change the nature of this blogg into a happier more up beat version. We will see what the road ahead holds.
D

Positraction

2006-09-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

In your every day car there is a clever piece of technology called the limited slip differential (LSD). The most popular form of LSD was put out by Chevrolet and was called POSITRACTION because it allows for some difference in rotational speed of the output shafts, but does not allow the difference in speed to increase beyond a preset amount.

The main advantage of a limited slip differential is found by considering the case of a standard (or "open") differential where one wheel has no contact with the ground at all. In such a case, the contacting wheel will remain stationary, and the non-contacting wheel will rotate at twice its intended velocity –the vehicle will remain stationary. In everyday use on typical roads, such a situation is very unlikely, and so a normal differential suffices. It is only rough roads that we get the benefit of this.

LSD is a great piece of technology, therefore, because it allows continual motion when the road gets rough. I think I need to find something like this in my life. I am tired of the creating momentum, movement and then stalling phase of things in my life. More than anything I ate when my science starts to stall.

The problem is that we need to first admit that things are slipping somewhere or in the very least be aware of them. Another version of the problem is that when need to find another wheel to get some momentum from.

As a kid I always could swallow a big spoon of turnips and peas in order to get my dessert but sometimes I am not even sure what I need to swallow in life to move forward as an adult.

Productivity

2006-08-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

I have been extremely productive the last few days. Part of this is because Roshi has been in T-dot. No No NO, I am not saying she decreases my productivity but rather stating the obvious that relationships take a lot of time and are obviously worth the investment.

I have completely rebuilt a bike from it's original shit heap. Only purchased tires, cables, and part of a derailleur and did all the labor myself. Fun.

I also fired a batch of my jalapeno pickled eggs. I also stared a new blog that I hope takes off and I am sure that it will come to fruition.

I also went shopping for guitars and was bleakly disappointed. Seems like the ply tree is still the most common material for guitars. Yuck.

I think that I will grab a burger (bad boy!) at Vera’s and fade the night away. I have started programming lately and forgot that I kind of like that geeky stuff.

Friends

2006-08-14T23:19:00.000-07:00

I have been a little glum lately. As some of the previous posts have eluded I think this is because that I don't have balance. I am not even sure what the idea fucking means. Maybe no one has a clue. I have also been a little sad that I don't have some of the great friends around me that I enjoy. A lot of this is because a good buddy of mine recently moved away. Another part of it is that I miss a lot of my old friends.
On the weekend I had an old chum of mine over for dinner and wine. I have been drinking wine lately because 1. I really like the taste and 2. I seem to be a little less crazy/juvenile in comparison to the effects of spirits. However, Paul brought over a huge bottle of vodka from Russia and a couple of shots had us doing some old school judo in my backyard. Paul beat me 7/10 times in the old days and spanked me soundly on the weekend. Maybe good friends are where you make time for them and find them. Maybe this is also the answer to balance.
D

Wine

2006-08-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

Had an amazing bottle of wine this weekend. It was Penfolds BIN 707 Cab. Sauv., 2002. We started the evening offf with a local bland pinot grigio and then progressed to another cab. sauv. (Yalumba, 2001). The wine Penfolds was by far the best wine I have had in 6 mos. Be warned, it is costly.
D

Friends

2006-08-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post and say that good freinds are one of the greatest things we experience in this world. I have had the great honour to know my buddy Sean for the last year and a half and am extremely happy that he has landed a faculty position and is moving on. However, it is only now that I realize that good friends do not come along every day. Maybe this will make me more aware in the future. Hopefully it will make me into a better friend to those around me now.
D

Family

2006-08-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

I just survived having 9 people simultaneously in my small apartment. Part of the reason that I was able to survive the onslaught was that I was related to everyone involved. My family came for visit last week and it was excellent. The things that made it excellent were all quite simple are largely to do with good people and good times. Kids seem to help this cause a lot; kids are honest and thoughtful and are all about the good time.

My sister and her husband were the two who supplied the kidlets. A girl who has recently learned to be saucy and her two rambunctious brothers were the culprits in all the frivolities. We went to the Vancouver Aquarium, the beach, and even saw fireworks. We had a large water fight with everyone getting there own brand new water guy to fight the other teams (teams of three) with. I was on the green team and we seemed to do quite well although my use of Ziploc water bombs was questioned.

The main point of this entry is that both family and kids know where it is at. Maybe if we treated all of our days and relationships like we were 5 and our friends did the same things would be much better.

Failure

2006-07-24T00:46:00.000-07:00

Failed miserably. I only managed to do a couple of the things on the list. So the obvious question is “How did I fuck up?”
Here are some ideas.
The events of a day need to be sequenced appropriately. Like anchoring a fine wine with a couple of the shittier bottles first. I did some pottery first thing on Saturday and probably spent too much time doing this. Doing pottery also made it hard to do stressful things like work on the draft. Seems like Saturday should be a work day and first thing.
Sounds wanker but the high heat zapped me this weekend. Vancouver saw some of the hottest weather in 10 years. Had no yen to do anything.
Another thing is that without the car I need to portion the appropriate time for travel and the activities at hand. Just getting groceries seems to take a lot longer than it should because of all the car swapping that needed to take place.
Anxiety seems to be the prevailing emotion that detracts from priorities and getting shit done so I should keep that in check.
Elaborate dinners. Takes time to plan and prepare. These dinners are nice put should put down on the original list because they take major time.
Just hanging out with Rochelle. Like the dinners I should also schedule time for this so that I can have a higher quality of interaction with her or get some of the list done instead.
Hopefully these ideas will help. If not me then maybe you!

The Challenge

2006-07-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

So in light of the previous post about balance, I would like to put a challenge forth to myself for this weekend. Here are the things that I would like to get done

Finish the rough draft of my paper
Finish Animal care document -Test/Protocol
Clean House for company
Prepare Itinerary for company
Finish Bowl & Platter for Mulligan
Practice guitar
Exercise 30 min each day

I think that this is way too much… but I kind of like that. I like the daunting idea that the hill is too high. Of course, maybe this is what has me constantly sucking wind at the bottom of the run and not going anywhere. Tune in Sunday night.

Fishing

2006-07-09T21:34:00.000-07:00

Went fishing last week. Had a really good time but spent a shit load of cash. Ryan hooked into a monster but lost it largely because of barbless hooks. Being out on the ocean with the seals andother marine life seemed to make my life both simple and happy at the same time. All we really had to do was stay afloat!
D

Eyes

2006-07-09T00:53:00.000-07:00

Consider human eyes. They are embedded in pairs within a flat surface and are highly evolved, yet we do not simultaneously see the left and right. It is in this fact, the fact that we are incapable of seeing “in the round” that we think even our meagre daily happenings are real that makes it hard for us to practice "the good". It is even more surprising that with our limited view of our own world and therefore objective reality that we think that we can "see " at all.

Rejection List

2006-07-08T14:48:00.000-07:00

In light of my last post "BALANCE" I thought I would strive to succinctly limit my life. What is meant by this? If I can start a list of items that lead to a loss of balance or equilibrium then maybe I can combat it.

Selfishness
Insecurity
Anxiety
Procrastination
Small yappy dogs
Ignorance
Lack of prioritization
Masturbation
Monday morning
-Avoid lazy weekends
CD’s that skip
Racism
Greed
Jealousy
Elitism
Being disappointed
Disappointing people
Public washrooms
Fake smiles
Not being able to laugh at oneself
Guilt

I think this is a good start. The main pretence of this blog is for me to develop some sort of humanistic immunity. Innate or adaptive.

“We know the good but do not practice it.” Euripides

Balance

2006-07-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

The beginning of single adulthood came a little early for me. In fact, I left home as soon as I could. I vividly remember that in one single day I got a job, rented a place, went to Wal-mart to buy some essentials and then moved in. Looking back, this has had ramifications for my life as a whole.
I think that I often make leaps and bounds in life and then stagnate for months at a time. Objectively, I see that all things in life arise from both the current context and our previous experiences. For example, my leap into apparent adulthood appeared to happen in a day but was in fact orchestrated in the mind of an angry teenager for months.
The feeling I had the night that I sat in my bullshit plastic blow mould furnished apartment was one of pure content. It seemed to erase the prior months of unease, anxiety, and uncertainty. I think that I have used this template to the detriment of my adulthood. I might be as bold to assert that this template has stagnated not only an epoch but my life up until now.
The stagnation has the obvious detriment in that it does not lead to balance. I am constantly stirring to create the next grandiose day rather than living in the moment. As I write this entry I am struck with that fact. Balance is nothing more that living in the moment while keeping a close watch on the future. I rarely have moments but am always careful to pre-process and protect the future.
In essence adults try to protect themselves against their own dark sides by trying to control their future. We constantly do this through self-argument and self-shame. Unfortunately argument and shame are the tools of self-reason and thought. Maybe this is my most general problem or Achilles’ heal; I protect the future with the reason of the moment. I would like to think more on this.
Attached is a poem that is, well, quite unfinished. I thought that I would finish it at a later date, as it seems to high school melancholy and hoakey. I think this might be where/why I am stagnant… so I post it so that those who read it can help me with their comments. The words are there and this is the moment. Maybe this exercise will allow me to go from the single adulthood into a community of adults.

D

The camera pans wide
So the faces can hide
The chorus sings not to cast shame
But the people need to find blame

Through the lens of a whiskey jar
He attempts to hide the scar
Of broncos that kicked high
And lovers that whispered good-bye

He never claimed to be a cowboy
Never even to act coy
But the truth be told
His story has gotten old.

Through the lens of a whiskey jar
He found the strength to travel far
By taking a longer stride
He knew that fate would not hide

Rolling

2006-06-29T22:06:00.000-07:00

It seems like the long hours in the lab make blogging impossible for me. Just got home an hour ago (10'ish), inhaled some dinner and had some conversation with Roshi. The day has me quite ready for bed. However, anyone who knows me knows that I do not sleep. So maybe this is when I will find the time.
The concept of blogging is not new to me but the concept of ME blogging is obviously quite new. I quite enjoying reading other friend’s blogs and getting caught up with them or living vicariously through them. There is little doubt that no one will read the ramblings of half a scientist but then again, maybe this exercise is about self-discovery and reflection.
I have been dabbling with poetry lately and especially the haiku. I will try and drop the odd one in here along with any of my research findings that have me excited. Of course, I will be careful not let the cat out of the bag in case Kettenmann or Gan happen to stop by for a read (lol). On that note I am sure feeling the pressure to get this fucking draft out. Hoping to make quite a bit of headway this weekend with maybe something crude early next week happening.
It would also be nice to get away at least one this weekend to enjoy both my wife and the outdoors. The no car thing could really mess this up. I have feeling that quite quickly we will know every nook and cranny of campus. What ever.

Nothing to thought provoking tonight but I will leave you with one of my more melancholy haiku poems that was written after a hard night’s worth of boozing… like most good poems.
D

What the fuck do I care
The evening had to end

Why am I always the last?

Whew

2006-06-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

Just started. Better than not at all.